Loneliness and the January blues!

All photos courtesy of Unsplash.

A while ago, I read the following comment in the ‘The Guardian’ newspaper - ‘The dilemma, I’m 22 years old and going into my fourth year in medical school. I have been using study to escape loneliness, insecurity and anxiety that arose from the stress of the course and my failure to establish friends’.

Another person wrote in ‘The Telegraph’, “‘Life looks good on the surface - so why are we all so lonely?  ‘But you can’t be lonely,’ a friend tells me crossly. ‘You’re out every night.’ The backhanded compliment makes me laugh. But it also makes me sad. On paper, my life sounds glamorous. Denying you feel lonely makes no more sense than denying you feel hunger’” These are the comments of a high profile journalist who looks as if she is living the high life but most certainly doesn’t feel as if she is.

An investigation into loneliness in January 2020 showed that a fifth of the population privately admits they are ‘always or often lonely’. But two-thirds of those people would never confess to having a problem in public. Here is the problem - loneliness is the devastating unseen result of the pressures and emptiness of modern life when people live devoid of real purpose and meaning.

The January Blues!

I read the following comment in the ‘The Guardian’ newspaper quite a while ago - ‘The  dilemma, I’m 22 years old and going into my fourth year in medical school. I have been using study to escape loneliness, insecurity and anxiety that arose from the stress of the course and my failure to establish friends’.

Another person wrote in The Telegraph “‘Life looks good on the surface - so why are we all so lonely?  ‘But you can’t be lonely,’ a friend tells me crossly. ‘You’re out  every night.’ The backhanded compliment makes me laugh. But it also makes me sad. On paper my life sounds glamorous. Denying  you  feel  lonely  makes no  more  sense  than  denying you  feel  hunger’” These are the comments of a high profile journalist who looks as if she is living the high life but most certainly doesn’t feel as if she is.

A new  national  commission  investigating loneliness  in  the  UK,  launched  in  January 2020, shows  that  a  fifth  of  the  population privately  admits  they  are  ‘always  or  often lonely’.  But  two-thirds  of  those people would never  confess  to  having  a  problem  in public. Here is the problem - loneliness is the devastating unseen result of the pressures and emptiness of modern life when people live devoid of real purpose and meaning.

What is the point of resting?

All pictures used by permission of Unsplash

I would like to share some thoughts on resting with you today.

“There just are not enough hours in the day” would suggest that maybe you are not managing time effectively or that your ‘things to do’ list is too ambitious. There is  nothing wrong with aspirational targets, so says the school teacher!

To have a break or rest is so very vital to our well being and health; that is physical health, emotional health and mental health. These seem to be a very real issue for all kinds of people these days and from all age backgrounds.

Let’s face it, there is nothing better than looking forward to a long deserved holiday. It is very much a break from normal life and day-to-day stresses. If it is a long weekend, a 4 day 3 night break, a week, 10 days, a fortnight, 3 weeks, a month or more, it is a well earned opportunity to laze by a pool, sunbathe on a beach, visit places of interest and relax.

The ‘If’ question!

When someone questions our ability to do something, it can provoke a sense of pride that wants to prove them otherwise. Some have stretched themselves to perform reckless acts with varying degrees of success. The Bible says, ' Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.’ God is never guilty of pride, which is on a list of things that the Lord hates.

People have been heard to say, ‘If God would do this or that… I would believe.’ But God does not try to ‘prove himself’ on our terms. Faith in God is not about what we want Him to be or do but about accepting who He is and what He has done.

One day, the devil came to Jesus saying, ‘If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.’ Jesus was in the desert and had been without food for some time. The suggestion was that He satisfy His hunger and thereby prove His power. But the Lord Jesus had not come to perform miracles to gratify His own desires nor to showcase His power for popularity. His works were always for the glory of God. On another occasion, Jesus said, ‘My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.’ The work of God, His Father, was more important to Him than physical food. Pleasing God was food for His soul.

What present will you be content with this Christmas?

I think I am quite a contented person. My Christmas present list is usually non - existent, and when asked, I struggle to think of things I really need. Maybe this is because I am so well looked after that I have very little need for anything.

If you were given the choice of any gift I wonder what it would be? The ancient king of Israel, Solomon, when given the choice asked for wisdom. Most of us would like to be wiser, to live well and to make less mistakes.

Would you rather fly Economy Class or Business Class?

All photos courtesy of Unsplash 

Some years ago I was speaking at a conference in Delhi, India and thankfully there were other speakers who were utterly riveting to listen to and absorb what they were saying. One such was a Canadian and he related a time when he was going to travel by plane when the check-in staff wondered whether he wanted to be upgraded. One of his joys in travelling is speaking with fellow passengers and he wondered whether that would be possible if he were upgraded. However, he was persuaded and duly went into Business Class rather than Economy Class and so could look forward to a much more comfortable journey.

As he went to sit down in the plane he introduced himself to a business women nearby with the words,  “I have been upgraded and it is only for one reason.” She politely enquired what that reason was and he said, “To talk to you about the Lord.”  I am sure she had never encountered such a direct approach before and it made her somewhat irritable and even angry. Her anger was directed firstly at the fact that he had been upgraded whereas she had paid the full amount for the privilege of travelling Business Class and secondly that he now wanted to engage her in a conversation about the Lord!

Do you feel like the QE2? - left to rot

All photos courtesy of Unsplash 

The QE2 – the longest, widest, tallest, fastest and most expensive passenger liner when it was built – made 26 circumnavigations of the world and took more than three million passengers a staggering 5,875,264 nautical miles in glittering surroundings that were the epitome of luxury. 

Today, however, more than 55 years after she was launched, the once magnificent QE2 is a discarded shell taking on rainwater and slowly gathering rust alongside a spartan dockside in Dubai’s commercial harbour, Port Rashid. At a distance – and that’s how the security guards like to keep inquisitive tourists – the former Cunard flagship looks as if she is ready to cast off at any moment, full steam ahead on what would be her 1,375th voyage. Close up the reality is tragically different. Gone are the glorious days of pre-dinner cocktails in the Chart Room, formal meals at the captain’s table or late nights over liqueurs in the Yacht Club. No longer do bronzed couples on 80-day world cruises spend lazy hours on sunbeds or enjoy unhurried moonlit strolls around the teak deck.

Punished for something you did not do!

All photos courtesy of Unsplash 

I can remember once in my school days being punished by having to stand on tiptoes with my nose above a strategically placed line of chalk on the board. I hated it for several reasons. Firstly, my legs ached after a while, secondly the chalk made me sneeze and thirdly and more importantly I did not do what I was accused of. This made me indignant!

Imagine being punished for something you did not do! I can remember a story that my father told me around about that time. It was of when he was about the same age back in the 1950s. School looked vastly different, no iPads, no computers, and no interactive whiteboards, in fact the boards were black, and chalk was used constantly. The cane was prevalent, and discipline was strict.

A young boy was brought up by his grandmother, he had lost his parents and although his grandmother tried her best, she struggled. He was small, grubby and his uniform had seen far better days. His teacher was kind and often quietly provided some food for him as she was sure that he often went hungry.

One day the teacher returned to the classroom to find her handbag open and so was her purse and money was missing. The teacher was obviously angry and extremely disappointed. She stated that if the money was  returned then nothing else would be said. The money was not returned, and no one owed up. She was left no other choice but to call the headteacher. He stormed into the classroom with his gown flowing and the cane in his hand. He swung the cane over the tops of the children’s heads and the ‘swoosh’ sound made each one of them fear greatly. After his fearsome routine yielded no result, the headteacher demanded that the whole school assembled in the hall. Here he repeated his antics and declared that because of what had taken place someone would receive six of the headmaster’s best!

A deathly hush fell over the hall, no one spoke, nobody dared! After what seemed like an eternity, sobbing could be heard from the corner of the hall. It was the young poor boy, who everyone felt sorry for, but not apparently the headteacher, who took this as an admission of guilt and hauled him up onto the stage. He demanded that he turn out his pockets to no avail. Then roll down his socks, as he rolled down his left sock, out fell the money. With no further ado, the headteacher raised his cane high above his head to strike the child. The pupils winced waiting for the impact, even some of the teachers turned away.

Suddenly, a cry of ‘Stop!’ was heard from the back of the hall, everyone turned to look. Who dared to shout at the headteacher?

Walking slowly to the front was an eleven-year-old boy, the biggest boy in the school, the captain of the rugby team, but nevertheless, just an eleven-year-old boy. The headteacher glared at him. Slowly, with a trembling voice the boy spoke, ‘Sir, you said that someone had to receive six lashes with the cane because of what was done.’

The headteacher nodded!

‘Sir’ the boy continued, ‘let it be me not him.’

The older boy held out his hand and turned away so that no one could see his tears and the headteacher caned him instead.

The little boy would never have forgotten that, and neither did all the staff and children in the school that day. My father was sat in that hall and he certainly remembers how that heroic boy took the punishment for another.

The Lord Jesus took our punishment in His own body on the cross, He was perfect and deserved no punishment whatsoever. We on the other hand deserve the wages of our sin. What is our reaction as He took our place and received our punishment? Do we repent and turn from our sin? Do we trust in Him and what He has done for us? Do we worship Him for His demonstration of love to us?

Messages with Meaning (31/03/21) Written by Stuart Scammell for Your542Day

Following Jesus

All photos are courtesy of Unsplash 

My Bible reading this morning was about the conversion of a Roman Centurion. He was a most unlikely candidate to become a follower of Jesus (the term Christian was not used at that time, but that was what he became).

Roman Centurions (I am generalising now) were usually battle hardened, professional, cynical, no nonsense type of people. Faith in the unseen or putting your trust in someone else was not how they normally operated unless, of course, it was obeying their commanding officer. They usually liked to be in control, pragmatic and deal in realities i.e. things that could be seen, touched and controlled. Maybe you are like that and quite cynical about spiritual matters.

Before I talk about Cornelius, that was his name, let me tell you about another Centurion. The Gospel writer, Matthew, tells us about him. Jesus had just arrived in Capernaum when a group of men from a synagogue approached him asking him to come to this unnamed Centurion’s house to heal his servant who was dying. There are a couple of things that are unusual about this story (read it in Luke 7:1-10 or Matthew 8:5-13). 

20% of people in the UK admit to loneliness!

I discovered recently that ‘1 A national commission investigating loneliness in the UK in January 2017 showed that a fifth of the population privately admits they are "always or often lonely”’.

Herbert Van Zeller, 1905-1984, once wrote ‘the soul hardly ever realises it, but whether he is believer or not, his loneliness is really a homesickness for God’. That’s quite a statement. Loneliness is deeper than a lack of company and it affects people in all stages of life.

Does God care? Yes, God has time for you.

Does God Care?

This time of the year can be a lonely time for many people! Everyone has their family, or do they? There are a lot of people about who are very private and keep themselves to themselves. They would not trouble anyone with their problems and would not presume that anyone else is interested.

I have news for anyone who is reading this who thinks like that. I know someone who is interested in you; the Lord Jesus. He is recorded as saying in the Gospel of John – ‘I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly‘.

Government - that's quite a story!

There are three principle elements of government, Legislature, Executive and Judiciary. The Legislators make the laws, the Executive enforce the law, and the Judiciary interprets and applies the law.  

There are over 200 different forms of State Government - Republicans, Monarchies, Autocracies and, is some cases, Theocracies. Sadly none as yet own God's rule exclusively.  

The world in its present state is groaning under the burden of sin and is crying out for righteous government; this will be here sooner than many people expect. Demonstrations in many countries are all too familiar, with people objecting to the legislation, the executive and the judiciary in their various countries. Calls for change of government are becoming commonplace, caused by the discontent of the people with their governors.

What if your loneliness disappeared for ever?

All photos courtesy of Unsplash

One of the most undesirable experiences that we can have is loneliness. Some folks look back to childhood days when they were surrounded by family members. However, eventually the great enemy, death, gate-crashed the family circle and, one by one, loved ones were taken and loneliness ensued. Others feel the emptiness that comes with loneliness especially when their spouse is taken away after many years of marriage. How hard it is, not least in the long winter evenings, to be alone in the house that formerly was alive with conversation.

God can make something of your life.

Apparently it is a true story that in a particular city in the United States of America an advertisement appeared on posters around the streets which announced that a great violinist would play in a certain theatre.  The attraction, which whetted the appetite of many people, was that he would play on a violin worth a thousand dollars (a huge sum of money in those days).  The people packed into the theatre and it was soon filled with the most beautiful music which enraptured the audience and it was a wonderfully exquisite experience.  People were so glad they had come to the theatre and paid the entry price. It was all worthwhile.

Then the whole atmosphere changed because suddenly, to the alarm of the people and to the consternation of everyone in the audience, the musician stopped playing and threw down the violin onto the stage floor. His actions, so unexpected, were done with such violence and it was all compounded as he stamped on the violin and crushed it to pieces and walked off the stage. He left what seemed to be just a mound of broken parts and there was stunned silence as the shocked audience looked on in horror.  They tried to assimilate what had happened and why such a gifted musician had done such a dreadful act.  Some people thought that he must have lost his mind and become deranged in some way to have deliberately destroyed such a beautiful instrument which had cost so much. It all seemed such a waste.   

Banishing loneliness!

 

All photos courtesy of Unsplash

One of the most undesirable experiences that we can have is loneliness. Some folks look back to childhood days when they were surrounded by family members. However, eventually, the great enemy, death, gate-crashed the family circle and, one by one, loved ones were taken, and loneliness ensued. Others feel the emptiness that comes with loneliness, especially when their spouse is taken away after many years of marriage. How hard it is, not least in the long winter evenings, to be alone in the house that formerly was alive with conversation.

Lockdown Loneliness

All photos courtesy of Unsplash

I read the following comment in the ‘The Guardian’ newspaper quite a while ago - ‘The dilemma, I’m 22 years old and going into my fourth year in medical school. I have been using study to escape loneliness, insecurity and anxiety that arose from the stress of the course and my failure to establish friends’.

Another person wrote in The Telegraph, “‘Life looks good on the surface - so why are we all so lonely?  ‘But you can’t be lonely,’ a friend tells me crossly. ‘You’re out  every night.’ The backhanded compliment makes me laugh. But it also makes me sad. On paper, my life sounds glamorous. Denying you feel lonely makes no more sense than denying you feel hunger’” These are the comments of a high profile journalist who looks as if she is living the high life but most certainly doesn’t feel as if she is.

Please bear in mind that these statements were made before the COVID crisis hit us - how much more painful will life be for these people now.